Here we go...

Well actually we aren't leaving until the 12th of July. But it's almost the 12th of June, sort of, and on the 12th of June we'll only have a solitary month left until we leave. And Ashley, a fellow RJer in Australia, is going home soon [in like a week!] and that just got me to thinking. Well, that and other things got me to thinking.
I'm always saying how much I'm going to miss it here, and I mean it, but sometimes I don't realize - even now I'm sure I don't truly realize - how much I'm going to miss it here. And how much this place has become a part of me. It's incredible how much of an impact being here has had on me. I feel like if I were to see myself a year ago, I wouldn't even recognize myself. I'm just a different person. My priorities are different, my thought processes are different, the things I do for fun are different. And I really, really like the me that I am now [yay!].
On top of that, though, the relationships I've built here are just incredible. And I'm leaving. I've become friends with so many people at church who I can't imagine not being a part of my life, and I've added four siblings - Anna, Gabby, Tim, and Kyle - to my family. And Lord knows when I'll see any of these people again.
How is that fair?
Augh. I mean, I know God brought me here for a reason, and I wouldn't trade this experience for ANYTHING in the whole wide world. But sometimes I just think "dang, God, why would you bring me here to gain all this and then lose it just like that?"
I guess part of the answer is that I won't be losing it, it's part of me and I'll take the growth and the "new me" and everything with me. But that just seems like words that don't really mean anything. I won't be here. I won't have these friends or these roommates or this church. So I will be losing it, and that sucks. Not fair, not at all.

In other news, I'm going to school soon. August, to be exact. Not exactly looking forward to studying again or to having to go to class or learn...none of those things really appeal to me at this point. But I'm praying that God will help me to stop judging all things Eastern so the next year [at least] of my life isn't absolutely dreadful. I know I can make it fun/enjoy it if I try, but I just don't feel like trying. Aaaa...