Aiii meee

Okay. I don't really feel like I'm someone who gets stressed out that easily...but Eastern University has succeeded fully in STRESSING ME OUT. I am just in absolute shock at how expensive college is!! I mean, obviously I've heard my whole life that college is expensive...I've seen in movies that college is expensive...my dad has told me that college is expensive...but I don't know. What was I thinking? It'll be fine? "Expensive"...that word isn't in my vocabulary! I'm invincible to high expenses!

Lord...

Well here's the real issue: I knew it was expensive, but I didn't think it would be expensive for me. In high school I got good grades. I did well on my SAT. I participated in enough extra-curriculars that I seemed "well-rounded" on applications and had some leadership experience under my belt. And when I applied to and got accepted by and was offered scholarships by Eastern, I figured "no, I got this. Expensive? Not for me!" Because Eastern sent me enough scholarship letters that added up to enough money that I didn't think I would have to pay anything for college. That's right: I added up those scholarship amounts with my oh-so-helpful college-level math skills and came up with just enough money to cover tuition and room and board at the private, Christian college of my choice.

And then...

Just a few months before college starts I get an email from my dad containing a financial aid package from Eastern that leaves me hanging with tons of tuition and room and board costs uncovered and lots of debt looming in my future. What happened to those scholarships I was banking on?? What happened to the reality that my parents have SEVEN children and I don't have a job and I have things I'd like to do with my life that absolutely do not include $44,000 in debt??

Oh yeah. Turns out...those scholarships are all of the same nature and you can't get more than one of them.

Well, thanks for telling me that sooner.

Now what?