Alright. The cell I have been put into is headed by lovely Nicole (I hope you are reading this Nicole; you’re welcome) and the girls in it are aged 14 to 18 or so. Friday night was a really interesting experience.
The cell meeting was held at the church. There were actually a number of cells who all met around 7:30. We did an icebreaker (woohoo!), had praise and worship, and then split off into our cells for discussion.
The evening started to challenge me with the praise and worship. Youth praise and worship at BCI is even livelier than regular praise and worship; kids were jumping, dancing, doing congo lines….all around me, and I was just standing there. Just standing there, in the middle of the floor. It’s not that I wasn’t enjoying or getting into the praise and worship – I have actually gotten to the point where I enjoy BCI’s worship style – it’s just that I still feel that I can worship and praise without it being a big dance party. I can’t dance and that’s a fact.
So anyway, there I am, and after one of the lively jump-and-dance songs the praise and worship leader says “Now if you want God to be in your life – if you love Jesus with all your heart – I want you to shout ‘Jesus!’ on the count of three.” And I swear (it’s possible I imagined it, but I didn’t think so) I heard someone say, very pointedly, “Connie.”
I tried to take it in stride, and go with the flow, and think to myself “Okay, I love Jesus, I want God, so even if I feel judged I can get over it and try to get into things.” But it was so hard, and before I knew it we were into the next song (a more contemplative, no-jumping song that I actually like) and I was crying and just feeling so overwhelmed. I found myself praying “God, please get this church out of my way. I want to see you, please just get this church out of my way.”
So that is sort of how I went into the cell group. I just felt so overwhelmed and tired of being judged and confused about everything. I couldn’t understand what God wanted me to do here, if I can’t even get through a worship service without worrying if this church thinks I am a horrible person.
However. I came out of the cell feeling completely different. The girls in my cell are interesting, interested, and so honest. Hearing them talk (and answering their wacky questions about America), and hearing Nicole’s responses, gave me so much hope for my time here. These girls’ lives are not perfect – far from it – yet Nicole showed them so much love and acceptance. And becoming part of a cell gives me a feeling of acceptance and purpose here (where I spend most of time wondering what to do with myself). So it was a good night, in the end.
P.S. Here are some of the questions the girls asked me:
- [After being told I do not know Beyonce]: “Do you know Chris Brown?”
- “Can you dance?”
- “Do you have any American money with you? Can we see it?”
- “Do American girls like to eat?”
- “Have you ever gotten into a fight at school?”
- “What size shoe do you wear?”
- “What is your cell phone number in America?”
- “Are the phones in America normal?”
- “What do you want to do with your life?”
- “Do you have mixit [a cell phone chat room type thing] in America?”
- “If a South African person went to America, would you think they had an accent?”
- “Will you take me back with you?”
- “Can I take a picture with you?”
- “Do they put growth hormones in the food at McDonald’s in America?”
- “Do they have KFC?”
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